staying faithful : one woman lemonade stand

This car is giving me abandonment issues.

Previously recorded episode. I've lost track of how many times I've seen this sight.

After the battery/brake line incident it decided to wait a few hours after being returned to me - just enough time for the mechanic to close for the long weekend - to not have a desire to start anymore. Well played, Taurus. Excellent timing.

It's been moody ever since, starting whenever it feels so led, but this morning it decided to officially go on strike. Complete with the, "Heck, NO! We won't go!" chants. They may have been silent...but I still heard them.

This car has been the thorn in my flesh ever since I bought it a year ago. It's been broken down on me countless times, been backed into, broken into, and has even given me my first experience with underbody flooding. The only reliable trait it has is that it's reliably unreliable.

It'd be easy to get annoyed and move on, chalking it up to a lemon of a car. And it is a lemon. I should tap it for lemonade to earn money for the repairs. But I know it's not just that. This vehicle is the vehicle the Lord is using to teach me a lesson I've been avoiding learning for about 26 years. Or ever since I learned how to say, "I can do it myself!"

This car, at this juncture of my life, is teaching me how tightly I cling to my own self-sufficiency, and how insufficient a source of power that is.

That's all. And I don't have anything to follow up with - no behavioral resolutions or tidy conclusions. I'm in the midst of learning something I've needed to learn for decades, and decades of stubborn pride take a long time to erode.

So if we can switch to a less expensive educational model, Lord, that'd be great.