1. Something that sounds like this is living outside of my bedroom window.
And I really think I need to contact Animal Planet to see what their version of Oprah is and invite all animals everywhere to take part in the episode, because we need some sort of intervention here. Let's not even talk about the fact that I get chased by dogs while running on a regular basis. We'll limit this to undomesticated animals. The squirrels. The bats. And now the red fox/fisher cat.
The first time I heard the noise I sprang out of bed ready to call 911 because I was convinced someone was being ripped limb from limb in the woods behind our house. (That's always the thought you want rolling around in your head before you say goodnight.) It was so loud that my mom woke up and came to my room to see what was the matter. Once we realized that it wasn't a human, we played Guess That Woodland Creature and named about 50 potential suitors. Cat? Weasel? Possum? Raccoon? Turtle? Deer?
We were open to all options, clearly.
After another few rounds later in the week, my dad asked our outdoorsy neighbor if he knew what could possibly be making the noise that makes the undead shudder. He thinks it's probably a fisher, a small-dog-sized mammal that is best known for it's vicious nature.
So we'll see how this one plays out. I doubt I'll be trapping it under a basket this time.
2. I went ziplining with my parents over the weekend. My parents, who are 79 and 66. My parents, who had no qaulms about plummeting 3,000 feet through the forest at speeds between 30-50 miles per hour.
I, on the other hand, had qualms for days. I'm adventurous in ways that do not necessitate leaving the ground. Feet not on the floor? Yeah, count me out. I like to be connected to the earth. Blame it on my 25% Native American heritage.
But what I found most amusing about this experience (other than looking over at my mom, ziplining next to me, careening through the trees while laying perpendicularly because she thought it would help me go faster) was the waiver. First of all, if you're going to commit to something like this, just don't read the waiver. Because if you are already concerned that you might lose a limb on a nearby tree, the waiver will confirm your suspicions. The waiver will tell you repeatedly that there is always a chance that a tree may spontaneously fall and cut off your ankles, and if it does, they are not liable.
The best part about the waiver: citing that ziplining can induce emotional trauma, such as hurt feelings.
Call me crazy, but I was more concerned about the physical trauma, such as death.
When all was said and done I still had my ankles and my feelings were very well in tact, since my mom and I raced under the stipulation that the loser makes the coffee for a week.
It's going to be a good week, let me tell you.
Not to be left out of the fun, at dinner that night, I also bet my dad one week of copy editing that the menu denoted that the crab cakes came with "Key Lime Sauce" not "Kelly Lime Sauce," as he adamantly defended. I think we all know how that one turned out. Thank you, key limes everywhere.
3. If you're looking for me, I'll be swimming in cup after cup of Trader Joe's Jasmine Green Tea. Oh my word...this stuff is amazing.
What have you guys been up to? I miss you! Fill me in!