Runaway May

When I signed up for this 10k about a month ago, my only goal was to finish in less than an hour. It wasn't a lofty goal. But it was a goal I knew I would have to work for since before then my training plan had been Run A Few Miles Whenever You Feel So Moved. As you might assume, I did not often Feel So Moved. 

But there's something about having a finish line - literally or figuratively - to work for that makes the work more pressing, so I laced up my sneakers regularly over the past few weeks. It was a sobering, clunky journey. Were there a movie made of the past month of training, it would look nothing like Rocky. It would look more like Liz Lemon Stumbles Down That Road Over There. 

The sobering, clunky moments did not end in the training era of this goal. They came to visit again in Mile 6 yesterday. Up to that point, I felt great. I was keeping a steady pace and was thankful for the light mist of rain - not only does it help to keep cool, it just makes you feel cool, like you're that much more hardcore for running in the rain. 

(I'll take my cool points wherever I can get them.)

However, as I began to run straight uphill during a large portion of Mile 6, I began to wonder what sadistic race planning committee had cooked this up if I was going to be able to marshal enough steam to finish in my goal time. 

And then a man running with a double stroller passed me. Seriously. 

(And then my cool points ran away, laughing.)

I would have thought it a low point, but when then I remembered that a man with a full-size American flag, complete with pole, stuffed down his pants had passed me during the half-marathon, it seemed minute in comparison. 

So I plowed on - emphasis on plowing - and remembered that it really is true: what goes up most come down. And down I came for another half mile or so, and ran across the finish line with just a few seconds to spare. 

My official time: 59:37. 

And you know what it didn't say?

59:37 And She Kind Of Looked Like A Gorilla On Roller Skates Throughout The Duration Of Training.

59:37 And She Started Training Way Too Late To Make A Reasonable Go At A Decent Time.

59:37 And She Got Passed By A DOUBLE STROLLER Going Up A Hill. 

It just said 59:37. 

And that was all I wanted! That was my goal!

It was a healthy reminder that the getting-there process of goal achieving doesn't have to be pretty. You just have to get there, one clumsy step after another. 

This weekend, I'm running again, but it's for an even better cause than Oh My Word Get Back In Shape Already goal achieving. It's for Love Runs, a remote 5k created by Ally Vesterfelt, who is donating her 30th birthday in the hopes of raising $30,000 to build a classroom for kids in Uganda through Restore International. Want to help Ally achieve her goal and run it, too?! Of course you do!

Here's more information:

If you'd like to sign up, you can do so here. 

Thanks for doing this, Ally! I'm so excited to participate!

five years of redemptive love

People.

Today marks five years since college graduation. And you know what that means! Cue the reflection train, coming around the bend. Because there's nothing I love more than a 1,000 word evaluation for every significant (and insignificant) milestone in life. 

I already feel sorry for my future children.

But we'll cross that wordy bridge when we come to it! For now, let's do a quick review. Since graduation, I've:

I wish I could have seen my face had I been told all of that five years ago.

I'm going to drive around the country for 3 months by myself? ... I'm going to hustle through countless part-time jobs to pursue a career in writing? ... I...run? ... I like brussels sprouts? ... I'M CREATIVE?!?!

These things would have thoroughly confused me, because I had no idea who I was when I walked across the stage and received my diploma.  

Literally: no idea. 

 

This song has been on repeat, to the exclusion of almost all other music, for nearly a full week. (Seriously...just ask iTunes. If there really is a little band in my speakers like I thought there was when I was a kid, then they are exhausted and begging for the broken record to finally break for good. Sorry, guys! Play on!) I didn't even realize it until I took a closer look at the lyrics that it truly is the story of how the Lord has worked in my life thus far. 

Take from vandals
All you want now
Please, don't trade it in for life
Replace the feeble
With the fable
Wake up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes

All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes

I had no idea who I was when I graduated because I had spent years believing lies. And the lies are crafty, as is the Liar. They infiltrate quietly and take root. Then they grow into something that overtakes your whole life. It's a seamless transition, since you didn't even notice that a seed had been planted in the first place. 

That's where I was in 2008: wholly deceived without ever consciously consenting to it. I didn't believe much of anything true at that point because I was so overtaken by lies about myself and how I deserved to be treated. Because I perceived it as truth, I had a fairly dismal outlook on how life was going to go from that time on.

God began to whisper real truth to me that summer: that I was worth more, that I was loved, that I was His. But I couldn't hear Him through the noise of the lies. So He showed me instead. 

He opened up a whole world of beauty to me through the lens of my camera. I had no idea what I was in for when I ordered that thing - I thought I just needed a creative hobby to counteract my life in an office cubicle. But God had different plans (as He usually does!). He used color and light and stopping time in a frame to speak clearly and powerfully into my life, "Wake up from your slumber. Baby, open up your eyes!"  I'll never forget sobbing in the parking lot at WalMart after I got into my car and opened up my first package of prints. I was floored. I couldn't believe how much beauty I had been blind to, and to what lengths God had gone to get me to see it. 

Those initial whispers of truth turned into shouts of redemptive love - a term that Google defines as, "acting to save someone from error or evil." I was so filled with joy when I read that because it's definitively what God did for me. Through unexpected gifts, one adventure after another, He invited me into a life of more, and has faithfully and forcefully shaken me awake each time I've been tempted to go back to the lies. His love has pursued me and never given up. It's a true love story in which He replaced the feeble with the fable, giving me a beautiful new story to replace the old broken one.

That line from "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" jumped out at me this morning. Because most would consider my five years of post-college work as a flop on paper. If the hundreds of "no's" I've received in reply to my resume are any indication, that fact is truth. But that's the beauty of the past five years: I know what the real truth is. I know who God is, and I know who I am, and I know that no outside factor - not lies, not rejection, not failure, quite literally, nothing - has any power over me. So there is no fear of what the next five years might bring, because I can clearly see how His truth has and is and will triumph in my life, permanently. It makes me so overwhelmingly grateful that my heart bursts every time I think of it.

Please consider this an open invitation whether we've known each other for years or you've just stumbled over this post unexpectedly (hi! I'm glad you're here!): if you can't see the forest for the trees, if you feel like the forecast on life is mildly to moderately to majorly hopeless, if the last thing you believe in is God's love - oh my word, let's go have a lot of coffee, because I understand. I've lived there. But it's so much better over here in this new neighborhood where truth dwells. And I would so love to hear your story and tell you more about how Jesus redeemed mine. You can get in touch with me here. It would make my day to hear from you!

How's about you guys? How's life? Has your five year plan gone according to plan? Do you have a redemptive love story to tell? I'd love to know! Please feel free to leave buckets of reflective comments; you know I'm on board with that!

busywork < life's work

So there's this weird phenomenon happening right now. The work week ends, the working weekend flashes by, and in the blink of an eye it's Monday, and I'm 100 shades of panicked because I'm already behind and I haven't even eaten breakfast yet. 

I mean, come on, life. Cut a breakfast-lovin' girl some slack on a Monday. 

And there's another phenomenon happening at the same time! Every day is like Groundhog Day. Every day ends with a bevy of the same sentiments. They all start with, "Oh, shoot." And then they continue with a combo of, "I should have/I forgot to/I still haven't..." And they all end with a fill in the blank of an endless list of to-do's that were never to-done. 

But the problem isn't life, nor is it lack of time or even lack of effort. The problem is how I'm managing time. There is just no space for the life part of life to happen lately, let alone enough space for all of the components of work life to happen, and it's leaving me frazzled on a fairly regular basis. There's also a frazzling quality to knowing that your livelihood depends on how much quality work you can produce, promote, and deliver in a space of time that you don't really have in the first place, so there's that. 

But that's really just a big excuse, because everyone gets the same number of hours in a day. A finite number of hours in a day didn't stop Donald Miller from writing some of my favorite books or stop Amy Sherman Palladino from creating some of my favorite shows or stop Mike McCarthy from coaching my favorite team or stop Andy Stanley from preaching some of my favorite sermons. I'm indescribably grateful to these people for finding the time to do these things because they've made a significant positive impact on my life and the lives of countless others. 

And that's the crux of the matter. It's not that I'm so in the weeds that I can't see a way out. I'm way too laid back to be that stressed about anything. And it's not even that I'm lamenting a lack of all of those aforementioned favorite things lately, because I know that once balance is restored I'll read/laugh/watch/learn again as normal. It's that I know that I am just treading water trying to stay afloat. It may very well keep me from drowning, but it's not getting me anywhere. It's not helping me create the things I was created to create. 

And that's enough to knock my socks off. 

Because I know that there is plenty of time to do the things that matter most. And I need to figure out how to manage that time wisely before I end up with scraps of busywork and ineffectively used time instead of a beautiful tapestry that could have been made from the fabric I was given.  

So I need you guys to chime in: how do you manage time effectively? What is the best lesson you've learned about balance? What authors/bloggers/speakers/life-livers have tangibly helped you to make the most of the hours contained in each day? What resources - websites, apps, anything - do you use on a regular basis to stay on track?

Help a sister out! For the love of all that is breakfast in peace!

slumber

Ok, before we talk about anything else, I have to share this video with you, because oh my word. This song. 

When I find a song I love, I listen to it 5,000 times on repeat. With this song...I've probably listened to it 15,000 times on repeat. Today.

I just love the redemptive, take-charge story of the song. I love it so much that I put the lyrics into a photo for you guys - feel free to save it and use it if you'd like!

Back with a real post tomorrow!

little updates, little victories (part 2)

On Friday I went to Connecticut to go to a simulcast site for the Chick-fil-a Leadercast. And let me tell you: the drive alone was worth the cost of admission. I'll take a trip through gorgeous landscapes and sunlit fog while singing to the Pandora praise and worship station with a huge mug of coffee in hand for THREE HOURS any day. Seriously, by the time I drove into the parking lot, I felt like I didn't even need to go into the building I was so restored and fired up.

That I felt like a brand new person after just a few hours of restorative alone time with Jesus reminded me that I need more of that on a regular basis. I was used to having that whenever I wanted; I lived by myself, so me and Jesus hung out all the time. Alone time was not scarce. But now I live in a very tight-knit family unit, which is great, but as both an introvert and as someone who needs quiet time with the Lord frequently, I realized how much of a crater the lack of it has left in it's absence. It's a quandary that I don't quite know how to solve, since I can't regularly schedule road trips every weekend. 

Be that as it may, the one I did have on Friday was so wonderful. I could not be more thrilled that I decided to go. I mean, I spent the day with Andy Stanley, Henry Cloud, Condaleeza Rice, and Coach K (COACH K!!!), among others. Granted, they were on the screen, and I was not, but still: we bonded. It was amazing. 

The theme of the day was "Simply Lead." And let me tell you something, if I need anything in life more than I need a good iced coffee on a daily basis, it's a little simplification and a little leadership. More to come on that soon, because I need to ask you all for some advice.

Moving on: Two thoughts from the day will stick with me for awhile. 

1. Andy Stanley talked about the need for simplification in our work. To do that for his church, he created a one sentence job description for every person on his direct report staff. And I fell head over heels for that idea. So much so that I created a one sentence job description for every major facet of my life - both career and personal. Example: As a blogger, "I write about life in an authentic manner that lifts people up and is consistent with Philippians 4:8." As a daughter, "I bring my parents joy by respecting them, serving them, and making them laugh." This is the lifesaver to beat all lifesavers for me. Seriously. Because I can't add in a thousand stipulations or permutations, and I can clearly decipher when I'm being successful and when I'm being a slacker. Otherwise, I make "life" my job description and instantly see more ways that I can improve than ways I am on-target. This helps that tremendously. 

2. Henry Cloud talked about three situations in which pruning is necessary: When a plant is growing more buds than it can sustain, when an offshoot is sick and won't get well, and when dead branches are sucking life from the rest of the plant. Oh my word: hand me the shears. My life garden has grown into the Amazon.

Yours, too? Let chat about that tomorrow.